Author Archives: CristinaNehring

1 Girl in Paris Mulls on a New Political Porn Film

An appreciative chuckle spreads across my neighborhood Paris theater. In the preview onscreen, a graying psychiatrist has just asked his pink-cheeked sixty-odd-year-old patient whether the sexual assaults that destroyed his political career were worth it. “Yes,” he replies unflinchingly. “They were worth it.” The music swells. The camera cuts to …

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Upside-Down

When we are happy, we almost instantly ask ourselves if we shouldn’t be worried about something, but when miserable, we rarely recall what might merit our joy. It’s a bias in our nature that would be better reversed.  

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The Saint on the Kitchen Counter

Okay, so this sounds like an improbable first blog, but these events occurred just like this and just this night, which is not like other nights, which is a little lonely and a little haunted and on which I am launching my web site. Tonight, Eurydice–apple of my eye, 6-year-old …

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Clockwork

Sex should be the overflow of an internal reality that has become too powerful to contain, not an exercise as regular as eating healthy cereal in the morning or doing cardiovascular exercise after work. It should be transgressive and therefore somewhat irregular. When it grows regular as clockwork or diet, …

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Chairs

It does not make you a better person to have died. Existence is an endless game of musical chairs. One day everyone sits down between the chairs: saint and sinner, you and me. A mean and petty person who dies is still a mean and petty person. Death is democratic, …

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Error Messages

In my unrelenting effort to make enemies and alienate people, I am starting, today, a Running Thesaurus of Offensive Quotations. It’s been called “Error Messages” to suggest it does not fear contradiction or indeed, wrongness. Truths are paradoxes, and almost every point worth pursuing can be turned constructively on its …

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Wisdom

One must never be afraid to give away one’s trade secrets. Hearing them only helps those who are already practicing them anyway. If we used a thousandth of the good advice we owned and believed in, we’d all be superstars.

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